Trailerpark Tuesday – Hitman, Crimson Peak, U.N.C.L.E.

Hitman Agent 47Hitman: Agent 47

Trevor – The trailer shows potential. Agent 47 makes you cringe and you wonder, “what will this loose canon of a doctored up human being do next?” He has a core agenda, to eliminate the “regular” humans and free engineered humankind forever! But why do I care? I don’t want an engineered sociopath to destroy mankind, nor do I feel a vested interested in the humans. The pattern of blue cars show that we may not know all of the story about the regular humans, we also may not want them to continue in their limited capacity. I like Zachary Quinto, but I don’t know if he’s enough to headline a show like this and pull it along. I may watch this show, but it will likely be on Redbox.

Tim – I really like the Hitman video game series, but this movie doesn’t seem to have much to do with it’s source material. The games are all about stealth, getting into a situation undercover (often in disguise), assassinating a target in unique ways, and getting out without raising any alarms. In fact, if you’ve fired a gun, you’ve probably screwed up. This movie looks to be all about 47 being in the open, engaged in wild gunfights. That being said, I think it will be a cool movie. Not a cool HITMAN movie, but a cool assassin movie nonetheless. And Rupert Friend was great in Homeland, so I can buy him as a cold assassin. It probably just needs a different name.

Crimson Peak

Trevor – Now if we’re talking about actors that can headline a show and pull it out of obscurity, Tom Hiddleston is the one that will do it. But not only that, but we have the super creepy factor thatĀ Guillermo del Toro brings to the game. The shadows and peeks we have of the quietly violent creatures lurking about the almost Steampunk manor house gives me chills. Add eerie music bringing to life the non-harmonic chords and we may have something magic. Something magic that I will most assuredly never watch, but I can see why you would if you were into this genre. Nice work Guillermo!

Tim – Unlike Trevor, I am into horror, so this one has been on my radar for awhile. I think that Guillermo del Toro is an imaginative genius (just watch Pan’s Labyrinth), so his name alone interests me. Add to that a stellar cast, and I think you have a fantastic movie. I like that this movie, at least from the trailer, appears to be more about creepy horror rather than in-your-face slasher stuff. I’ll take atmosphere over that stuff any day.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

Trevor – This trailer presents itself in such a strange tone. It feels so much like it’s trying so hard to be serious but quirky. Nothing is over the edge enough to actually be funny, mostly awkward. And is that Superman? What is he doing in a huge crowd of Russians with horrible accents? And is he making his voice artificially low? The effects look dumb, the jokes are not funny and I don’t care about the KGB in the 60’s. I doubt this one makes it into my house.

Tim – What?! This trailer just oozes style. I didn’t feel that it was a funny trailer, and don’t know that it was supposed to be. I think it just aims to be a cool film. The story is based off an old TV show from the 60s that I’ve only ever heard of but never seen. I like spies and I like ridiculous stunt scenes. The cars spinning at the beginning of the trailer? C’mon. That’s great.